well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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