does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
