I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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