Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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