Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day