i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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