I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
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He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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