Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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