They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize