So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
