You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think your dad took our porno
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize