Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
