Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
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you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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