I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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