her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
