There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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