May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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