She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
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Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
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They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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