I'm jealous of your bromance
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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