and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
