My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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