Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
