I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Randomize