I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
