Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
