So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality