okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Come share oat with me in your robe
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...