Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
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he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want to be your penis for a week.
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.