Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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