there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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