we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
