help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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