He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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