We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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