I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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