What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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