what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
