I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize