my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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