I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
