By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry