well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions