even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
