We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
too bad you live with your parents still
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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