i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.