She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.