What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
