? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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