It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
