Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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