I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
