some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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