My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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