over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird