Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?