we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.