A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?