Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.